I know a fabulous copywriter (Hi Alexandra!) who is convinced that I can teach her (and you) how to create a marriage that feels like a honeymoon. I am convinced I cannot. Because I think a honeymoon, while beautiful and wonderful is one note in the long and beautiful song that is life. And even Celine Dion singing only one note would get annoying after a while.
However, if I was going to take Beautiful Alexandra’s challenge to create a marriage that felt like a honeymoon seriously, first I would deconstruct what it is about a honeymoon that makes it so magical.
I would start with –
- You are starting a new chapter in life
- You are stepping into becoming a new person (no longer a bride or a groom but now a husband or a wife)
- You are going someplace new where you will experience new things
- You are also purposely scheduling time together – alone. To connect. To kiss. To hug. To kiss some more.
- You are sharing an adventure. Creating memories. Taking tons of pictures and probably doing quite a bit of laughing along the way.
- While you are on your honeymoon, you are calling each other sweet names like honeypie and sweetums. (Don’t judge. Those were sweet to someone once!)
- And you are actually being sweet. To each other. On purpose.
- You are prioritizing your time together (over facebook, or shopping, or ‘the game’ or any other “thing- you-spend-a-lot-of-time-on-that-you-could-really-do-less.)
- You are remembering sweet moments from your wedding, and why you fell in love in the first place and holding hands for no reason and did I mention the kissing? I love kissing
When I think of these things, these “elements” of almost any happy honeymoon (and if you had a sad one, I am sorry, it happens, request a do-over). I realize that you really can create a marriage that feels like a honeymoon and I can teach you how to do it, right here and now.
1. Do new things with your spouse – once a year, once a month, once a week – pick a time frame that works for you and Do One New Thing. Make it a game or a contest. Make it fun to experience new things together. The same endorphins that are flying when you first met will zoom all over your relationship whenever you do a new thing. It will feel ultra-honeymooney.
2. Decide to grow. Say to yourself, “Beautiful Self that I adore, I am going to be a person who grows just a little every day.” Discover new things to love and experience awe over. Share those new things with your honey bunny. Ask him to share his new things with you. If you decide to grow, every year you will be discovering your spouse all over again. Just like a newlywed.
3. Take a vacation. Even if it’s to the town next door. Even if its just a weekend or camping in your own backyard. Looking forward to it, planning it, and anticipating it is half the fun. Plan at least one romantic weekend a year. Have you had one this year yet? There is still time. Start planning now.
4. Date. Don’t just do a date night. Date each other. Invite each other out. Make a request, send a text, make reservations, get a baby sitter. Date your sweetie like you just found the love your life and you get to date him for the next 4 decades. Because you did and you can.
5. Pick a Super Hero Name for your hunky hubby. Or just say “Hey! Hunky hubby!” Tell him you love it when he calls you Beautiful and you gleam when he calls you Brilliant. Invest creativity and love in what you call each other so it always brings a smile to your face. Like Sweetums in Cozumel. Or SexyPants in London.
6. Do one nice thing every day for each other. It might be washing the dishes or just listening to how the day went at work. It doesn’t have to be complicated or involve roses. It could be bringing home take out to watch <insert your favorite USA show here> (Wait, doesn’t everyone have a favorite show on USA? Anyone I know who actually watches TV watches at least one thing on USA.)
7. You know I practice the daily check in like it’s a religion. It’s my time right after work every week day to share my adventures with The Hubs and to hear his. It doesn’t have to be long, though sometimes it is. And you don’t have to solve the world’s problems, though sometimes you can solve one little one, for your favorite person in the world. All you have to is listen. Daily.
8. Kiss. (Now what would be super delightful is if you went to your honey Right Now and said, I read on the Internet that I should kiss you right now. MUAH!)
9. Remember why you fell in love. Take a moment right now to remember. Then take a moment, every day and you will never forget again. Then tell each other things like, “you know what I love about you?” start a list, and keep adding to it.
If you do those things, you will create a marriage that feels like a honeymoon. And it won’t be just one note like I originally thought. It will be the full range and voice of the entire choir.
I totally LOVE IT that you are reading this right now. WooHoo. What is even cooler is if you take ONE THING and put it into action. This week’s LOVEWORK is easy….if you were going to pick ONE THING that would help you create a marriage that feels like a honeymoon, what would that be? When could you start?
What would you add to this list? Please share in the comments.
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